by Mayukh Ghosh
51 innings in Test cricket.
Two 92s and a 91.
No 100s.
He would have considered himself lucky to be playing for Australia.
Moreover, he was the captain of the team!
Ashes 1964.
Australia 1-0 up with 2 Tests to play.
They just need to draw the 4th Test to keep The Ashes.
England, in a desperate attempt to win, change their bowling unit.
Fred Rumsey and Tom Cartwright make their debut.
At the pre-match dinner, Simpson reveals his strategy.
Quite a simple one: "We'll win the toss and bat for two days."
On July 23rd, he slaps his leg as soon as the toss is over.
Good enough to let his teammates know that the first part of the plan has worked.
Rex Sellers, while tying his pads, asks: "Can I get you a drink?"
"Yeah, I'll have a Coke. And I'll have one when I come in tonight, too."
Everyone understands how the captain is thinking.
Lawry, of all people, looks aggressive. He hits sixes while Simpson just blocks everything in the first couple of hours.
156 minutes to reach 50.
Lawry reaches his hundred and gets run out.
On the stroke of six, Simpson reaches his hundred.
2-253 at the end of day 1.
Simpson 109*
Manchester Evening News headlines its report: "Lawry, Lawry, Hallelujah"
On Day 2, Simpson scores 46, 43 and 67 in the three sessions.
His double century is the slowest in Ashes history.
It has only 11 fours ( they were less important in those days!).
On Day 3, he reaches his triple century.
And then, after facing 742 balls in 762 minutes, he decides to slog one.
And gets dismissed.
"If that's fooking Test cricket, then you can stick it up your fooking arse...."
No other triple century has been criticised so heavily.
Ray Robinson puts it this way: " Manchester University students could have reflected that the first medicinal user of chloroform was named Simpson, too"
The most boring and heavily criticised Test triple century was scored on 25 July 1964.